How to make Genuine Friends?

How to Make Genuine Friends

For many of us, making genuine friends may not seem like a big deal, but you might have come across someone in your life who doesn’t have a single genuine friend. Only those people truly understand the value of genuine friendship — a craving that weighs heavily on the heart. But before you claim that some people are just lucky to have genuine friends around them, let me stop you right there and tell you: it’s not about luck. The path to finding genuine friends is often precarious. Before finding the right friend, you might have left behind a few who didn’t treat you well.

You need to continue your quest for genuine friendships as early as possible so that you can expand your sample space and better judge which individuals deserve your time and energy.

How to Judge a Genuine Friend

This often comes with experience — probably after a few betrayals in the earlier stages of your life. These experiences teach you to be cautious and establish certain criteria to judge others better. Let me share a few things I’ve learned over time. From a very early age, I was fascinated by my seniors at school or in the neighborhood — those at least four years older than me. Be it their maturity, better performance in sports, or their boasting narratives, they gave the illusion of wisdom and better decision-making. Elder friends can help you mature and improve your sports skills, but all of this comes at a cost: performing their chores or being the easy target of mockery.

However, the most dangerous lesson for me was being pressured to lend monetary support. What may start as a one-time favor can quickly turn into a regular habit, and you may find yourself under pressure, unable to deny it. I learned this the hard way and now consider it one of the first criteria to filter genuine friendships.

How to Win and Sustain a Genuine Friendship

Once you’ve found someone who seems like a genuine friend, how do you win their trust and build a bond? And once you’ve built that bond, how do you sustain it?

To win someone’s trust, I suggest trying to find common ground — things that connect your vibe with theirs. But for a truly bidirectional flow of learning and growth, it’s also important to identify the complementary and opposite traits between you and the other person. For example, I’ve always been shy but honest, and I found great growth with a friend who was bold and chirpy. He helped me overcome my shyness, and I helped him stay on track academically.

There are also basic things that help build a strong friendship: being a good listener, connecting emotionally, offering your time, and making the initial moves to show you are genuinely interested in building a bond. For further insights, I highly recommend reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Sustaining the bond, in my opinion, is quite simple, though some might find it difficult. If there’s been a long break in your friendship and you miss that connection, don’t let your ego get in the way. Don’t wait for your friend to reach out first — pick up the phone and check in with them. There’s no “right” time to remember a friend. Call them anytime, even randomly, and ask how they’re doing. Meet at least once every two weeks, if proximity and schedules allow. These simple gestures might seem insignificant at first, but there will come a day when your friend calls you out of the blue and shares one of their deepest emotions.

I bet 99% of the time, it’ll be about their romantic life. But this openness will break down all barriers and establish a lifelong bond. Trust me, this works every time — even if it starts with some casual gossip, just make sure to end with something positive like, “What an asshole!”

Building a Diverse Group of Friends

Lastly, a healthy group of friends should be diverse. You might have a group of carefree, fun-loving friends who make you feel like “sanity has left the chat,” but it’s also essential to have friends who challenge you, like overachievers or nerds who might make you feel inadequate but push you to grow. You can also have a group of people who share similar hobbies, like music, sports, or arts. But the most important group is the one that consists of your “GENUINE” friends. These are the ones who would drop everything and catch the next flight to be with you when you’re caught in the most dreadful phase of your life.

These are not the ones who might constantly remind you of how they’ve put genuine efforts into “squaring off the debt of friendship” by making small sacrifices. No, they are the ones who will just be there when you need them the most.

Cheers to Genuine Friends

Cheers to all the friends I’ve made along the way. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from the friends I’ve left behind, but I couldn’t be more thankful to the ones who remain in my life. Their unwavering support has taught me the true meaning of friendship.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP!